(Un) Important Post!

I warn you, this post contains serious complaints, negative words, and not-very-motivating expressions 😀

This is my last semester of my postgrad study. My friends, who have finished their master degree, always told me that the hardest part of a postgrad study is the thesis-making part. And now.. I am amidst that monster. I did not know that it would be very overwhelming.. Now I know.. Oh Lord~!!

So, in the middle of my frustration, I often stop for a while and refresh myself by scrolling through my facebook or reading random articles. But! I always hate myself at the end because I often end up watching some videos on youtube 😀

Man, you would never know how it feels until you experience this monster so-called thesis yourself -____-

So~ before I hate myself again for making a too-long post, I’d better end it here 😛

The Secret

It’s getting hard..

What actually awaits me that I need to face this now?

What does the future hold for me?

Is it that grand that I need to pay for it in advance?

It’s getting even harder..

What will the future unfold?

What gift has it prepared for me?

Lord, You are the Most Willing

Tell me this secret immediately

As I’m afraid I can even crawl to reach it myself any longer

 

me: mangatized

just tried new app hohoho..

My Life

My life.. It starts from nonexistence.This one I know. But, how will I end up? Should I pretend that I don’t ever exist? Or, should I leave a trace of my existence? at least in God’s diary? This is what I need to make sure. I am no Joan d’Arc who staked her life for her king and her country and is remembered as a divine heroine. I am neither a Juliette who was willing to die for her love and thus making her a symbol of pure loyalty. But I try my fullest to love myself, my family, my friend, and above all my Lord and His words. May I be able to write beauties in the life of those I know.

Lord knows I try…

~ An Ode to the One I Once Adored ~

Why did you choose that path?
Why did you —
Why —
Why —
Why –
Why

Testing My Courage

Assalamu’alaykum..

Hey, it’s been a long time eh??

I’ve been very busy with work and my study. However,  I have to force myself starting to write again. You know, I have to get myself used to writing again since thesis work is on the verge.. Pfiuuh.. Alhamdulillah, finally I am about to graduate yihiii.. InsyaAllah I will write about my study life in other post (if I remember :P)

Anywaaayy..This post is dedicated to my current experience following TEFLIN seminar last week in Surabaya.   I went with my three other group-mates and we would present a paper about practices of silence (which was actually our Pragmatics paper :P).

It was my first experience presenting in an international seminar with probable audiences from all over the world. Nervous? Don’t ask! I was trembling and even a little skeptical about our paper and presentation. I tried my best to prepare and pray HAARRD. However, I was in a dilemma of what to ask to God. If I ask for the seminar to have no audiences, our presentation will look pathetic. But if I ask for audiences, I’m afraid that we will make horrible presentation in front of those professional.. Tsktsk.. So, I just pray for the presentation to run well and enlightening.

The~n, the time had finally come! It was 2.15 in room B114 (Can you imagine how nervous I was, I can remember these details?? -__-) and voillaaa… there was no one.. (there was actually someone, but she said she was audience from the last one, and was intending to go actually and two other who are actually our friends whom we forced to attend our presentation, so we can’t count them 😀 ) Oh so I thought God had granted my first wish, a pathetic but save-from-questions presentation 😀 But then, 2 people showed up and I started to shake. Oh Lord, I said, please have mercy on us :D.

HOWEVER, this scene was no~thing compared to what happened next. Then, there came a man-a foreigner or bule- who looked like a professor. Hmmm, I think I’ve seen him somewhere, I thought to myself. I recalled, and recalled, and recalled, I tried to remember every foreigner I had met at that seminar. and then, WHAAATT?? He was Prof Andrew Lian who was also a board of TEFLIN, who became one of the keynote speakers (if I’m not mistaken). We were shocked, and thought that we’re soo finished!

Fortunately, he was very kind. He listened to our presentation very carefully without showing that he knew better than we did. Finally the Q&A session came, and we were literally finished 😀 But we felt fortunate to hear his enlightening thought and even support that our paper was worth-publishing with corrections here and there.

Once again we felt fortunate and to know that he approved our paper was something – i  think- I could be proud of.

So I think God has granted me my true wish, which is the best option, to make us better in what we were doing by ‘sending’ Prof Lian to our presentation out of nowehere 😀

There you go, my story about my nerve wrecking experience. Hope I can write again soon..

Credit:

Prof Andrew Lian — The Professor

Parawati Sondari — Group mate

Salmia Nur A — Group mate

Nida Amalia — Group mate

Istiqlaliah N H — Friend-audience

Ms Emma — Friend-audience

 

 

Can I Make a Movie from a Dream??

I had a weird dream last night..

Usually a dream is always random and never has a consistent plot (:P), however my dream was very “neat”, it was like a movie, haha..

The dream started when several of my friends and I were waiting at the airport for our plane to depart. We were hustling with the other passengers to get aboard on time. When we were on the plane, there was turbulence and we were very panicked and shouting here and there as if it would help us hahaha.. Not too long after that, the turbulence stopped and we ended up chatting with the other passengers in front us (it still has this inconsistency, :P). They were 4 American young men, going for holiday (don’t ask me how I knew  that they were American and they were having their holiday). Long story short, our plane landed on an island, with beautiful beach, at least in our opinion at that time, because however if I recall, I could see that it was not beautiful at all. The sky was dark, the beach was messy, the atmosphere was very hostile, nothing beautiful. I found picture which is quite close to the image in my dream (this is taken from valwrite.livejournal.com)

Anyway, after landing, my group decided to go straight to our lodging to take a rest and there we were in the lodging choosing which room we wanted to stay. There was a little hubbub between us, because one of my friends didn’t want to stay in an air-conditioned room, the other wanted to have a room with balcony, and the other wanted to stay in a room with TV so she could keep updated with the news (gosh, I can’t believe I even plot that in the dream, :D). However, we finally agreed to stay in that one particular room, which I don’t know why we agreed on that, while we were having this fight, hehe..
After unpacking, we decided to go for a walk to see the beach and the market nearby, and once again we met those 4 American and we went around together. As usual, the girls always had their way to find something to buy. As for myself, I found a very cute veil for me to use (I still even remember that peachy color and its detail, I wish I could have it for real hehe..).

But a movie will never be called as a good movie, if it doesn’t have a twist and a climax to its story. In the middle of our fun time choosing things we wanted to buy, there was a scream. It turned out to be the sound of one of my friends’ (it’s weird that this friend isn’t any of my friends in real life). However we could’t find her. Just like a movie, which the protagonist is told by the scenario, I just knew that she was kidnapped and we knew where to go. We went to an old building where we heard so many scarecrows’ sound and saw many of them too. There we found signs, and scary images. However we managed to find clues from the images, you know like a detective who is out of nowhere finding stuffs as their clues, haha..

Those clues lead us to find my friend who was locked and blindfolded in a dark and smelly room. Surprisingly, she wasn’t alone.. She was with one of the American men that we met earlier. We were very shocked and asked him to let go of her. We were bargaining and asking him why he would do that. The man finally blurted and said that she saw him killing someone back in his hometown (I wonder how it could happen..tsktsk). Acting like detective Conan, I switched my accessories into a gadget that can call a cop. In the middle of us bargaining with him to let go of my friend, the police came, and he was arrested. Just like a typical dream, we were happy about him letting my friend go but we were in an airport waiting for our plane to go back to Bandung. In my dream, I understood that we were in Changi, Singapore.

Yeah.. I thought that the show would end like that, but it turned out that we had another main show. When we were about to check in, this friend of mine who was kidnapped earlier proposed a crazy idea (I thought to myself, man she’s getting us in trouble again, hmmmphh..). She said we could have a great option instead of going home just like that. She said she met her old friend, and her old friend asked her to stay longer in Singapore. If we could stay longer, that friend of her would treat us food which cost the same as our ticket home (what food on earth cost the same as plane ticket??). If I remember the food was just like a steak with cheese sauce wrapped in a bun, quite like this:

She said, if we buy the food on the plane, we wouldn’t have enough money. She insisted to be late in checking in so we could have her plan. But we were thinking the other way, anyway who would trade a plane ticket for hotdog?? We were very panicked because the check in booth  was about to be closed, and it was impossible to leave without her. But suddenly the other friend of mine decided to leave first and said she was not that stupid. And by saying sorry, all of us left first (the other weird thing is that we checked in by pushing a button and we were swiped to other place like when Harry Potter does this apparation thing, hehe..
And the scene went to the friend of her, eating bunch of those hot dog-like with her parents, sneering! She said, “Papa, Mama, I succeeded to deceive my friend into believing that I would give her one of these.. Who would give this special expensive food for an old friend for free?? Hahaha…”

And I woke up feeling sorry for my imaginary friend who was alone at the airport waiting for her friend to pick her up and treat her hot dog that she can buy herself..

Hello world!

I made another blog!!

haha, I leave loads of traces then..

however, its’ just so glad to have many places where I can share anything with the world.. I always want to make a “serious” blog  where I can share information and meaningful experiences with others, but I just failed it almost all the time, hehe.. hopefully this one will work.. I really hope I can share something useful, at least for myself as a remembrance 🙂 and that’s also the reason why I use English, hehe.. *boy, I have to practice writing in English more, I guess my vocab just keeps fading away 😦

anyway.. I just hope anyone happens to read my blog can get something and share their opinions and experiences too.. remember guys, sharing is caring 😉

see ya ^^